When The Pursuit of Healing Keeps You Stuck

Photo by Bonni Pacheco

As an integrative doctor, I spend hours every week sitting and observing. Listening. And there is something I have noticed again and again.

Sometimes it is actually the pursuit of healing that is keeping us stuck. Sometimes all the searching, researching, looking for that ONE thing that will "save us" is actually a nervous system stuck in fight or flight hiding under the guise of "healing."

Understandably, when one is suffering, it is easy to become all consumed by the constant observation of symptoms, the constant search for feeling better. But often this singular focus is keeping us locked into the situation we are trying to get out of.

Joe Dispenza talks about creating a vision of the future rather than being trapped by the emotions and experiences of the past. Whether or not his work resonates with you, I think there is wisdom in this idea. If every day we wake up scanning our bodies, measuring symptoms, researching new treatments, and asking ourselves, "Am I better yet?" our attention remains fixed on the very thing we are trying to move beyond.

The brain becomes incredibly efficient at noticing what is wrong.

The nervous system learns that danger is everywhere.

Life begins to shrink around the illness.

This doesn't mean symptoms aren't real. It doesn't mean we should ignore our bodies or pretend everything is fine. Appropriate testing, thoughtful treatment, and listening to the body's signals are important. But healing is not the same thing as hypervigilance, and a hyper vigilant state is a state that will never allow the true, deep healing that most people are looking for.

At some point, there is often an invitation to gently shift our focus. Not away from healing, but toward living. Toward asking different questions, and gently shifting the focus and thus the energy around that which is keeping us stuck.

What brings me joy? What makes me laugh? What makes me feel connected? What do I do that is 100% for me, for fun? What is asking to be expressed?

What would I be doing today if my symptoms were not in charge? What if I could acknowledge those symptoms, but then return to the life that is right here, waiting to be lived?

What parts of myself have I abandoned while waiting to get better?

Sometimes the next step forward is not another supplement, another protocol, or another practitioner. Sometimes it is spending an afternoon in nature. Calling a friend. Taking an art class. Riding a horse. Dancing in the kitchen. Jumping in the river. Hiking in the mountains. Reading a good book. Laughing. Creating. Allowing rest just because.

Sometimes healing happens when we stop making our symptoms the center of our identity and thus step back into the flow of life.

The patients I see make the most profound shifts are often the ones who slowly begin to build a life they want to live now, even while symptoms are still present. They stop waiting for perfect health before giving themselves permission to experience joy, purpose, connection, and meaning.

Paradoxically, this is often when the nervous system finally receives the message that it is safe.

And safety is where healing begins.